And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
