My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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