Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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