bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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