North Korea, Best Korea!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
