my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she looked like the before picture.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
