she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize