k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You've changed since you got that strap on
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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