the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
