I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
