I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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