Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize