If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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