Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
where am i from again
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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