Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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