Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
