goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
areolas are like halos for boobs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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