Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
