I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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