3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
