and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I will pee on everything he values.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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