Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
