if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
