I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
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You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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