none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
