My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
