So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
