one might say we're banned from that church
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
