it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
