my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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