the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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