just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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