Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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