i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
