all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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