My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize