I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
