We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.