bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.