she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man