Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties