All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
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She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that