All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.