I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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