i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
