:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
