Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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