I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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