life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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