this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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