It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
