Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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