I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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