So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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