It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
