Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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