the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
