I feel great
I just peed on a car
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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