All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
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I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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