why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
