is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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